Perspective During this Holiday Season

I am a CPA and businessman in my American life and persona. I am living for a year or two deep in the interior of mainland China with my wife Yu Qi (Susie) and eight year old son Yang Yang. I am treated with respect as “laowai” or “ancient foreigner” in their country. My experience over the past six months living here is that for many reasons the Chinese love Americans. I am treated like a celebrity or rock star.

Here is a letter I shared with my parents age 84 today. Perhaps it may bring some perspective, especially during this holiday season, to those of us who are so blessed to call America home.

Click for the letter after the break.

Dear Mom & Dad,

I feel very sad today…and I feel very grateful. Susie and her two sisters, her father, Yang Yang and I traveled to a small town a couple of hours away yesterday for family wedding for granddaughter of PaPa’s sister in law.

The old Chinese lady appeared to be a hundred or more, although she was only 85. She was a very tiny lady, and totally crippled from broken hip and brittle bones. One of her sons carried her on his back to take her to wedding lunch and wedding dinner.

Yes, the wedding celebration was a joyous occasion, yet I have felt very sad as I have reflected.

Although the family home had few furnishings in it, it was fairly clean. The house was incredibly cold. Few homes have heat here. There was zero heat in the house, and it is becoming cold weather now.

The Grandmother (Susie’s aunt), now 85, was widowed when she was in her 30′s. Her husband, my father-in-law’s brother, died when he was age 40, leaving a wife and 7 children. At least one of the children (whom I saw yesterday) was severely deformed from birth.

The husband died when he became ill. A doctor made a mistake, gave him the wrong medicine, and he died. There was no such thing as malpractice or liability. The young wife and 7 children were left penniless and on their own.

Trial lawyers are scarce here…and certainly not available to common people.

In those days, there was no such thing as life insurance. Even if it had existed, they could not afford it. Even today, life insurance is only beginning to appear.

The government provided no assistance. No retirement. No food stamps. Not a cent to help the young family and struggling Mom.

Susie’s parents and other family members have helped out over the years.

Now age 85, Grandma is clearly a tough old lady. The smiles cascaded all over her face as family members arrived for the wedding. Grandma was so happy at the celebration for her granddaughter.

Life has improved a little over the years, although they are still absolutely poverty-stricken. The children are all grown. She tends and cares for the deformed son, who is now age 48. Her children have jobs and families. The grandchildren are now getting married.

I feel so humble that we (who are so blessed, and live in a land of such prosperity) have the arrogance to feel sorry for ourselves sometimes for what are piddling little inconveniences in the big scheme of things.

I love you, Mom & Dad.

Mike

— J. Michael Stolp
— My Info
— China-USA Website
— CFO Website

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